


They don´t know about us

by Loptr_GodOfFire



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Incest, M/M, Manipulation, Sibling Incest, Silverfisting, angbang, but only one sentence or so, feanors sons, mentions of maes torture in angband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-04 23:52:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15851991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loptr_GodOfFire/pseuds/Loptr_GodOfFire
Summary: Short works about some of my favourite pairings from the Silmarillion.The first chapter is Celegorms view on his relationship with Curufin.The second is Mairons thoughts on Melkor and their relationship.Chapter three is about Fingon and Maedhros.The last chapter deals with Celebrimbors conflicted feelings for Annatar.





	1. Celegorm/Curufin

They don´t know about us. But if they would they´d say it´s wrong. They´d say it´s disgusting.

I guess they are right; we don´t know right from wrong anymore. We fight and kill whoever is in our way. The only thing that matters to us is what we want, what we desire. For our father it were the Silmaril, the reason he put moral and value aside, no matter the cost. 

I am no different, but the object of my headless desire is something else. It´s something of flesh and blood, my own brother, my strong and cunning brother who is so much like our father and so different at the same time. He is my own personal Silmaril, a beautiful and shining light in my life, truly something to be treasured.  
Is it even that wrong compared to everything we have done? As we lie down and love each other there is nobody getting hurt or killed. There is nobody else left who could love us now. Most of our family is dead or scattered all over the land. His son has left him; he despises both of us, even without knowing our secret. My wonderful Huan is the one who has left me and Luthien thinks about me as a monster anyways.

We truly have no one left besides our own blood. There is not a soul in this world who understands what it means to desire without thinking about the consequences like we do.


	2. Angbang

They don´t know about the things we do. Well, they know about our war-machines and dragons. But these are only the result of our work together, only the tip of our brilliant iceberg.

With Melkor as the one I follow there are no rules or limits. He does not try to restrict my thoughts nor does he tell me what to do. I don´t feel like a suffocating fire anymore, slowly dying because it isn´t allowed to grow and spread. Instead he inspires and challenges me and together we reach new heights.

Without him I would have never known the true meaning of freedom and power. Without him I would have never become the leader of great armies or the inventor of gruesome weapons. He helped me let go of all restrains so my mind won´t be clouded by useless worries or empathy.

To many this may sound horrible but I haven´t gotten rid of all feelings, I am not an empty soulless shell. On the contrary, I am overwhelmed by love, love for him – my saviour and freedom-bringer. Melkor is the only one who understands my brilliance and loves me for it. He does not try to change me. 

Together, we embrace our true nature and create great things. This must be what a Vala and his Maia are truly supposed to be like.


	3. Russingon

They don´t know about the “I love you"s we exchanged back in Valinor and neither do they know about the words of affection we still share now. Though they have seen our love through other ways.

They saw how eager I was to follow after Maedhros even after the burning of the ships. I was among the first who crossed the ice and even in the darkest hours I never thought of going back. To me Valinor did not seem like a paradise anymore, not with its brightest light gone, and I am not talking about the trees or Feanor.

Then they saw how I saved him from Angbands grasp. Even his brothers had trembled in fear before the iron hell but I was not willing to lose, not after what we had lost on the Helcaraxe. To me it did not seem as if I was doing something reckless or attempting the impossible.

Some may say that I have done it for the crown or that I am blinded by his beauty. But neither of these are true, I took the crown because it was his will and the best for our people. Now, I am not denying his beauty, that would be impossible, even after Angband, but I am still able to see that he has wronged in the past. 

But in my heart I know his true self, despite everything he is still the person I fell in love with. His body and soul have been torn to shreds by Gorthaurs cruel hands. But underneath all the scars and wounds his true nature survived. He is the same brave and honest prince he was ever since I have known him. He may be more bitter now and sometimes he seems harsh and intimidating but when we are alone there is something soft and loving in his eyes when he looks at me.

Other people say about him that he is lost and his soul is destroyed. These are the ones who have never met him. Neither his strength has ceased nor has his will to live.  
That is why I still can´t leave him. Our love now is stronger than before. He has become a flame that even Morgoth and his lieutenant can´t extinguish, a flame full of determination and power.  
I gave him strength when he was healing from Angband but now he is the one who is helping me win this war and bear the weight of responsibility. I need him, now more than ever and I love him, now more than ever.


	4. Silverfisting

Every touch it gets a little sweeter, the feeling of uneasiness deep inside my chest. I can feel it becoming less and less, almost as if it isn´t there anymore. I know I should stay careful. There are so many things that don´t add up.

I often tried to confront him about these but whenever I try to ask him I forget myself. No, he makes me do that. His beauty is like a spell, his body, so perfect, it must have been formed by Illuvater himself and his hair in the sun shines like a thousand diamonds. He knows that and he knows exactly how to use it to his advantage.

Though not only his hröa makes me lose my mind. His voice is like honey but the words themselves are sharp and clever, like poison invading my mind. I know that and yet I want to trust him. I crave his praise when I manage to surpass his expectations in the forge. I want him to enjoy my company and see that I am worthy of his lessons.

All of this is so unhealthy, because he is aware of that and still keeps on using me, playing with me like a toy. But I come back for more every damn time. Annatar is a feeling, an experience that you can never forget or escape.

He has tought me so much already though my curiousity is far from satisfied. A few days ago he even asked for my help and said that he needs me. It feels good to be needed and to know that there is someone who values me for my skills. That is the only thing that has ever mattered to him, not my horrible family and their sins. He sees me and only me.  
Still it doesn´t make sense, he is way more powerful, he doesn´t need me. That is just another one of his games.

Oh Eru, why is he doing all of this, making me fall in love with him, yearn for his presence?  
I am afraid. Every instinct is telling me to run. But I can not, he has trapped me with his lovely and dangerous ways.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title and first sentence of each chapter are inspired by "They don´t know about us" by One Direction. I´m sorry XD.


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